Oh gosh...14+3...this is going fast!

Oh deary, deary me...I haven't posted since 9 weeks?! I can't even believe that - that has totally proven to me just how quickly this is going!!

Wow, ok...so alot has happened in these last 5 weeks...

My sickness/nausea got pretty bad and stayed that way until about 11 weeks and then I had a bit of a break. It returned again but has been much, much milder and easier to deal with.

At 12+5 I had my ultrasound - I was so incredibly nervous but bubbling with excitment at the same time. And it turned out to be simply amazing - I was in awe of this little person inside of me, dancing around, throwing their arms around, opening their mouth...it was incredible. All my measurements were perfect and I am currently wating for the results of the Down Syndrome blood test but going by the nuchal fold (I think that's what it's called?) everything seems to be ok. I won't get my results until my next midwife appointment (14th May) unless the results are concerning...if they were, I'm sure I would have heard by now...

I can't remember if I've already mentioned this, but I am a total needle-phobic - it's so embarrasing. Each time I've been in for blood draws I can just imagine what's going through their minds 'Can't handle a needle? How the heck are you gonna handle birth?!' But in all honesty, the thought of birth doesn't terrify me as much as the thought of needles...but maybe this will change as my due date draws closer...lol!

My 20 week scan is all booked for June 7th...can't wait for this as we will hopefully find out bubba's gender...although we are pretty convinced we know. Let me show you the photo from our 12 week scan...all you nub theorists will understand why I'm pretty certain what colour our bundle is:



Ahh, I could stare at that little pic all day :-)

So I think I've covered all the important bits...

Love and Hugs xo

9 weeks - Midwife and more vomit.

Eeek! I feel like I've been majorly slacking in keeping up with my blog and vlogs - but ho-hum, I'm here now and ready to roll.

OK, so after a lot of hassle (misunderstanding between myself and my doctor) I FINALLY met my Midwife this week and I LOVE her! She is so lovely, down to earth and just a genuinely compassionate lady - my kind of person! The worst thing about her? She gave me a MASSIVE pile of 'homework' to complete in 3 days - I'm talking form after form after form - and they literally ask all the same questions. Anyway, I had to complete them all before I meet her again (tomorrow). Because she normally likes to first see her mums at 6/7 weeks then again at 8/9 weeks we had to rush me along a bit as the first time I met her I was already 9 weeks so she squeezed me in again the same week to 'book me in'. This will happen at home and will include blood tests, going through family health history etc - exciting stuff ay! This really is becoming more and more real!

My main bother this week has been my back - sounds ridiculous me saying I have a bad back at 9 weeks doesn't it? But I've strained all the muscles in my lower back from being sick so often :-( Trying my hardest NOT to complain though as all the lows are going to be totally worth it in the end :-)

So, from the above you've probably gathered that yes, the sickness is ever present. But, this means that my hormone levels are high and going strong :-)

And that's that really - not much else to add!

Oh, I'd quite like some opinions on 'buying/hiring your own doppler' - so please comment below and share your views!

Love you all x

Pregnancy week 6/7

Vomit.
Puke.
Sick.
Scan.
Vomit.
Puke.
Sick.

I could probably end this post right now as the above sums up my week perfectly. But I won't, 'coz I know you want the details - no carrot, just bile. Hahaha, I'm joking. Am I?

Let me start with the scan - the highlight of my week/life.
Because of my history I was told that any future pregnancies would be monitored from as early as possible, so I was able to self refer to my local EPAU and book an early scan at 7 weeks.
It was AMAZING - overwhelming.
Obviously it was still very early so we weren't able to see any more than a 'blob' but that blob was our baby, our son or daughter, and we got to see the little flickering of their heartbeat - priceless.
Everything looks very good, bubba measured in at 6.6mm and the sac/pole looked normal. The sonographer did note that I had a trace of free fluid in my POD - but I've been told that this is nothing to worry about.
Oh AND the baby measured at 6w+4 :-)

I'm so in love, SO in love.


Okay, so on to my symptoms. For those that follow me on YouTube, you will know that I had been wishing, yes WISHING, that I would experience morning sickness. Reason being that I thought it would reassure me that the pregnancy was viable and that my hormone levels were good.
My wish came true. Yay?
I didn't actually realise that morning sickness would mean physical sickness, everyday. I thought it would just reveal itself in the form of nausea, nothing more. Wrong!
Yes, my head has been down the toilet a couple of times a day since Sunday - not pretty. But I wished for it.

I have also gone completely off fruit. Which is such a bummer as I normally love fruit. At first I thought I must have just picked a bad batch of grapes, then perhaps my banana wasn't quite ripe - but when I failed to enjoy strawberries I knew that was it - my tastebuds were no longer going to allow me to enjoy fruit :-(

Well, that's everything significant for this week I think.
Thanks for your support <3

Panic Over: For Now...

Phew! I can breathe again...

This morning I watched a new TTC vlog posted by someone that I subscribe to. It was titled something like 'why I hate digital tests'. The title puzzled me as I LOVE digital tests - they give you a clear answer: Pregnant or Not Pregnant. To make matters worse, the vlog was about my favourite brand: ClearBlue - even more puzzled...until I had finished watching.

This particular lady, like me, had an ectopic pregnancy last year. At the beginning of this year she was convinced that she was pregnant as she was experience many of the symptoms she had felt in her previous pregnancy. So she took a test; a ClearBlue Digital. 'Pregnant'. Obviously she was overjoyed, told her partner and booked in to have her beta levels checked. Her beta levels came back at 0. ?????

A week later, she took another test and again it came back as 'Pregnant'. She showed this to her Dr but yet again her beta came back at 0. She had gotten TWO false positives from her HPTs.

After watching this I decided to research it - by research I clearly mean I asked Google. I was shocked by how many other people had experienced the same! I was SO worried as I had gotten my positive from the brand that everyone was now saying not to trust.

Fortunately for me there is a Pregnancy Crisis Centre in the same block that I work in that my friend heads up. She gave me a free test, just a cheapy one.

Positive.

Praise the Lordy Lord!!

My heart really goes out to the people that receive false positives though - especially after trying for so long and even more so after experiencing a loss. To be given false hope; a false joy - that's not fair. Apparantly, these digital tests pick up all sorts of hormones during ovualtion and even around AF which can potentially result in these false positives. Shocking really.

5 Weeks; Excitement & Worry

Well, I am 5 weeks today!

I'm experiencing 2 very conflicting emotions; excitement and worry.

The excited half of me has:

• gone out and bought a 'Pregnancy Bible'. (I did have a pregnancy book already but it was quite a light-hearted one and I wanted a more serious, factual one!)
• bought a pregnancy app for my phone - BabyBump Pro
• put a widget on my phone that is counting down 'til due date
• told a few close friends (I did plan on only telling immediate family...)
• put how many weeks I am at the top of each weekly page in my work diary

Whereas the worried half of me has:

• NOT STOPPED WORRYING!
• continually noticed every little pain and cramp
• not gotten off of Google in an attempt to see if everything is 'normal'
• gone to the toilet every 30mins to check that I'm not bleeding
• taken more pregnancy tests just to see the word 'Pregnant'

I'm literally going insane. Help!

Best Birthday Present EVER!

Today:
Is my birthday!!
I'm officially 23 years old
I'm off work to celebrate the day with hubby!
&
&
&
&
WE ONLY WENT AND GOT OUR BFP!!!! Oh my life...my hands are shaking.

I'm so so happy right now, never in a million years did I think, after 14 months TTC and an ectopic pregnancy, that the first cycle since our forced break would result in the news we've been praying so hard for.

Wow.
Overwhelmed would be an understatment right now, for sure.

I just really need to say; I know that sometimes reading these announcements can make some people's hearts sink - just a little bit. I know mine used to. And I totally understand why. And I honestly am praying for those that I have connected with that your time will come - SOON!! Love you guys - thank you so much for the support you have given me in such a short space of time.

Now to open the rest of my presents....!!

10dpo come with a feeling of: Utter Impatience!

Yesterday kick started a much needed week off work with hubby. And what a delightful start it was: shopping spree! New clothes, galore! It was the first thing that has taken my mind off this bloomin' 2WW - literally, my mind feels like it has just about drowned in baby thoughts.

But that was yesterday.

Today, I have been a complete couch potato - I've spent the day on youtube watching TTC/pregnancy vlogs, on google researching early symptoms and ALL DAY trying to supress the urge to take a test - arrrrggghhh! I just NEED to know; if I'm pregant, FAB! If not, I'm inviting AF for dinner to officially get the next cycle rolling. Am I turning into a crazy woman? I definately wasn't this obsessed for the first 12 months TTC...

I guess my plan is to hold out 'til 12dpo - although I don't really know why I have decided that 12dpo is a 'sensible' test day. Why not 10/11/13/14/15dpo??

Oh, one more thing that I'm struggling with: resisting the urge to make baby buys. Maybe I should just buy one thing and that will make me feel better...? Either that or it will spark a manic baby shopping spree and I'll be drowning in both my baby thoughts AND actual baby stuff. Hmm.

TTC-ing; not an easy ride sometimes is it?

Lovage x