Oh gosh...14+3...this is going fast!

Oh deary, deary me...I haven't posted since 9 weeks?! I can't even believe that - that has totally proven to me just how quickly this is going!!

Wow, ok...so alot has happened in these last 5 weeks...

My sickness/nausea got pretty bad and stayed that way until about 11 weeks and then I had a bit of a break. It returned again but has been much, much milder and easier to deal with.

At 12+5 I had my ultrasound - I was so incredibly nervous but bubbling with excitment at the same time. And it turned out to be simply amazing - I was in awe of this little person inside of me, dancing around, throwing their arms around, opening their mouth...it was incredible. All my measurements were perfect and I am currently wating for the results of the Down Syndrome blood test but going by the nuchal fold (I think that's what it's called?) everything seems to be ok. I won't get my results until my next midwife appointment (14th May) unless the results are concerning...if they were, I'm sure I would have heard by now...

I can't remember if I've already mentioned this, but I am a total needle-phobic - it's so embarrasing. Each time I've been in for blood draws I can just imagine what's going through their minds 'Can't handle a needle? How the heck are you gonna handle birth?!' But in all honesty, the thought of birth doesn't terrify me as much as the thought of needles...but maybe this will change as my due date draws closer...lol!

My 20 week scan is all booked for June 7th...can't wait for this as we will hopefully find out bubba's gender...although we are pretty convinced we know. Let me show you the photo from our 12 week scan...all you nub theorists will understand why I'm pretty certain what colour our bundle is:



Ahh, I could stare at that little pic all day :-)

So I think I've covered all the important bits...

Love and Hugs xo

Pregnancy week 6/7

Vomit.
Puke.
Sick.
Scan.
Vomit.
Puke.
Sick.

I could probably end this post right now as the above sums up my week perfectly. But I won't, 'coz I know you want the details - no carrot, just bile. Hahaha, I'm joking. Am I?

Let me start with the scan - the highlight of my week/life.
Because of my history I was told that any future pregnancies would be monitored from as early as possible, so I was able to self refer to my local EPAU and book an early scan at 7 weeks.
It was AMAZING - overwhelming.
Obviously it was still very early so we weren't able to see any more than a 'blob' but that blob was our baby, our son or daughter, and we got to see the little flickering of their heartbeat - priceless.
Everything looks very good, bubba measured in at 6.6mm and the sac/pole looked normal. The sonographer did note that I had a trace of free fluid in my POD - but I've been told that this is nothing to worry about.
Oh AND the baby measured at 6w+4 :-)

I'm so in love, SO in love.


Okay, so on to my symptoms. For those that follow me on YouTube, you will know that I had been wishing, yes WISHING, that I would experience morning sickness. Reason being that I thought it would reassure me that the pregnancy was viable and that my hormone levels were good.
My wish came true. Yay?
I didn't actually realise that morning sickness would mean physical sickness, everyday. I thought it would just reveal itself in the form of nausea, nothing more. Wrong!
Yes, my head has been down the toilet a couple of times a day since Sunday - not pretty. But I wished for it.

I have also gone completely off fruit. Which is such a bummer as I normally love fruit. At first I thought I must have just picked a bad batch of grapes, then perhaps my banana wasn't quite ripe - but when I failed to enjoy strawberries I knew that was it - my tastebuds were no longer going to allow me to enjoy fruit :-(

Well, that's everything significant for this week I think.
Thanks for your support <3

My Ectopic Pregnancy

So at 6 weeks pregnant, on October 15th 2011, I began to bleed - probably best described as mild spotting. I freaked out. It was the morning of my cousin's wedding and I just didn't know what to do - at this point I hadn't informed my doctor of my pregnancy so I had no information/no previous pregnancies to compare my experience to.
So I resorted to what the world resorts to: Google.

Looking back, 3 months on, Google-ing was not the best idea I've ever had. My tears would not stop.

Pulling myself together, I got ready for my cousin's wedding and as you can imagine, neither myself nor Matt (hubby) were in the mood for a wedding. But we managed the day and infact, had a lovely day with family and friends.

On October 17th I made a call to the local EPU (early pregnancy unit) and they booked me in for a scan on the 21st - during this time I continued to bleed, it gradually became heavier and my hopes diminished.

I had an ultrasound and a transvaginal scan which confirmed an ectopic pregnancy. Because it had been caught early, and my beta hcg levels were relatively low, I was booked in for a dose of methotrexate - a chemotherapy drug which induces misscarriage. I really struggled with the fact that the miscarriage was induced through choice - I know that the pregnancy was not viable (it was in my left fallopian tube) yet I can't seem to shift the guilt of officially ending the little life inside of me.

For those of you going through a similar situation, perhaps waiting for your shot of methotrexate, I thought I'd quickly go through what that was like as I know I got myself into a MASSIVE panic and didn't really have alot of information on what to expect. So, unfortunately, I had to go to the cancer ward of my local hospital to have the injections - I don't know if this is the same everywhere but where I am, it had to be given by a nurse specifically trained in chemo-drugs. Now, with a phobia of needles, I was terrified at what was coming - 2 injections, one in each side of my lower back/upper buttock. But let me reassure you - it was not bad at all, in fact, my first words after the first injection were, 'was that it?!'. There is a slight burning/stinging sensation about 10 seconds after the injection but that is all - and even that was nothing to be scared by.

My hcg levels went back down to <5 in 13 days and I was then officially no longer pregnant.

I was then told not to ttc for atleast 3 months - reason being that methotrexate strips your body of vitamins including folic acid - reduced levels of these can cause birth defects.

So that was my ectopic pregnancy - I've left out ALOT of details. Infact I would just like to add that I went through every emotion under the sun during October/November - anger was probably the one that stands out to me the most.

I'm writing this blog 3 months after my ordeal - if I had written it during the actual time, believe me, it would have been alot different - but I've come out the other side with a hopeful outlook for 2012.