Ergh! I am not enjoying being thrown back into the reality of 2WWs at all!
Firsty, Fertility Friend decided to move my O-day so instead of BDing O-2 and on O it now stands that we BD'd O-1 and O+1...not sure which is best really?! But hubby was pleased to hear that FF rated our BDing 'good'...haha!
So, I am now 4dpo and for the past 2 days I have been experiencing endless amounts of twinges and pinches...something I have never experienced before. My guess is - this is our first TTC cycle since the ectopic, I think I'm paying way too much attention to my body and therefore noticing every little thing! Isn't 3-4dpo a little early to be noticing anything 'significant'. I don't know? Someone tell me, please.
Also, 4 days ago (during the ever-so attractive ritual of checking cervix positioning...) I noticed a small lump/cyst...pea(?) on my cervix. This has totally freaked me out. But again, this is my first cycle of charting and for all I know, it's always been there and I've just never felt it before. Feel free to shed some light here also, please.
I'm really not doing a very good job at keeping calm and I'm only 4dpo!!
Breathe Chrissie, breathe.
_____________________________
Just an added thought: HPT-day will be falling on my 23rd birthday...
Showing posts with label Ectopic Pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ectopic Pregnancy. Show all posts
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Monday, 23 January 2012
TCC Tag!
I stumbled on quite a few of these 'TTC Tag' vlog things on YouTube. Being a little camera-shy I thought I'd do the next best thing and blog my answers!
1. How long have you been TTC?
13 months (with a 3 month forced break due to an ectopic pregnancy in October 2011).
2. How many kids to you have?
None at the moment - hopeful that this won't be my answer for too much longer though!
3. How old are you and hubby?
I'm 22, hubby is 23.
4. How long have you been married?
It will be our 3rd anniversary this summer (June 27th)
5. What are some crazy things you've done while TTC?
Erm...I wouldn't say we've done anything particularly crazy - infact blogging about it is probably the craziest thing as I'm a very private person normally!
6. Does your hubby know all about the TTC cycle?
Ha! I'm going to say no.
7. Have you been diagnosed with any kind of infertility?
No, we know we can conceive - just need a little luck on our side for next time :)
8. What keeps you busy in the 2WW?
I tend to over-work in my 2ww - I guess to keep my mind off things a little, also, if I stayed at home I would find it hard not to take HPTs every second!
9. What day do you usually ovulate?
I actually have no idea - I have fairly long cycles (30-38 days normally) and only started charting this cycle - so I'll come back to you on that one!
10. What sex are you hoping for?
Well, hubby has his heart set on a boy. I really wouldn't mind either way although we have already chosen a name for a little girl...
11. How many pregnancy books do you have?
One: The Rough Guide to Pregnancy and Birth - Kaz Cooke
12. How many HPT's do you go through each cycle?
I limit myself to one per cycle.
13. What have you already bought for baby or pregnancy?
Nothing other than the book from question 11 :)
14. What themes/design do you want for a nursery?
To be honest, I haven't really thought about that - probably a pretty neutral theme though with lots of teddy bears!
15. Do you plan to do pregnancy vlogs?
vlogs no: blogs, yes :) (Edit: So, clearly my thoughts on this have changed! Check out my Vlog, link at the top of the page!)
16. Who are your favourite mums or TTCer's to watch on YouTube?
plus1please (Kelsey) and ItsMyTurnNow85 (Jessica)
1. How long have you been TTC?
13 months (with a 3 month forced break due to an ectopic pregnancy in October 2011).
2. How many kids to you have?
None at the moment - hopeful that this won't be my answer for too much longer though!
3. How old are you and hubby?
I'm 22, hubby is 23.
4. How long have you been married?
It will be our 3rd anniversary this summer (June 27th)
5. What are some crazy things you've done while TTC?
Erm...I wouldn't say we've done anything particularly crazy - infact blogging about it is probably the craziest thing as I'm a very private person normally!
6. Does your hubby know all about the TTC cycle?
Ha! I'm going to say no.
7. Have you been diagnosed with any kind of infertility?
No, we know we can conceive - just need a little luck on our side for next time :)
8. What keeps you busy in the 2WW?
I tend to over-work in my 2ww - I guess to keep my mind off things a little, also, if I stayed at home I would find it hard not to take HPTs every second!
9. What day do you usually ovulate?
I actually have no idea - I have fairly long cycles (30-38 days normally) and only started charting this cycle - so I'll come back to you on that one!
10. What sex are you hoping for?
Well, hubby has his heart set on a boy. I really wouldn't mind either way although we have already chosen a name for a little girl...
11. How many pregnancy books do you have?
One: The Rough Guide to Pregnancy and Birth - Kaz Cooke
12. How many HPT's do you go through each cycle?
I limit myself to one per cycle.
13. What have you already bought for baby or pregnancy?
Nothing other than the book from question 11 :)
14. What themes/design do you want for a nursery?
To be honest, I haven't really thought about that - probably a pretty neutral theme though with lots of teddy bears!
15. Do you plan to do pregnancy vlogs?
vlogs no: blogs, yes :) (Edit: So, clearly my thoughts on this have changed! Check out my Vlog, link at the top of the page!)
16. Who are your favourite mums or TTCer's to watch on YouTube?
plus1please (Kelsey) and ItsMyTurnNow85 (Jessica)
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
My Ectopic Pregnancy
So at 6 weeks pregnant, on October 15th 2011, I began to bleed - probably best described as mild spotting. I freaked out. It was the morning of my cousin's wedding and I just didn't know what to do - at this point I hadn't informed my doctor of my pregnancy so I had no information/no previous pregnancies to compare my experience to.
So I resorted to what the world resorts to: Google.
Looking back, 3 months on, Google-ing was not the best idea I've ever had. My tears would not stop.
Pulling myself together, I got ready for my cousin's wedding and as you can imagine, neither myself nor Matt (hubby) were in the mood for a wedding. But we managed the day and infact, had a lovely day with family and friends.
On October 17th I made a call to the local EPU (early pregnancy unit) and they booked me in for a scan on the 21st - during this time I continued to bleed, it gradually became heavier and my hopes diminished.
I had an ultrasound and a transvaginal scan which confirmed an ectopic pregnancy. Because it had been caught early, and my beta hcg levels were relatively low, I was booked in for a dose of methotrexate - a chemotherapy drug which induces misscarriage. I really struggled with the fact that the miscarriage was induced through choice - I know that the pregnancy was not viable (it was in my left fallopian tube) yet I can't seem to shift the guilt of officially ending the little life inside of me.
For those of you going through a similar situation, perhaps waiting for your shot of methotrexate, I thought I'd quickly go through what that was like as I know I got myself into a MASSIVE panic and didn't really have alot of information on what to expect. So, unfortunately, I had to go to the cancer ward of my local hospital to have the injections - I don't know if this is the same everywhere but where I am, it had to be given by a nurse specifically trained in chemo-drugs. Now, with a phobia of needles, I was terrified at what was coming - 2 injections, one in each side of my lower back/upper buttock. But let me reassure you - it was not bad at all, in fact, my first words after the first injection were, 'was that it?!'. There is a slight burning/stinging sensation about 10 seconds after the injection but that is all - and even that was nothing to be scared by.
My hcg levels went back down to <5 in 13 days and I was then officially no longer pregnant.
I was then told not to ttc for atleast 3 months - reason being that methotrexate strips your body of vitamins including folic acid - reduced levels of these can cause birth defects.
So that was my ectopic pregnancy - I've left out ALOT of details. Infact I would just like to add that I went through every emotion under the sun during October/November - anger was probably the one that stands out to me the most.
I'm writing this blog 3 months after my ordeal - if I had written it during the actual time, believe me, it would have been alot different - but I've come out the other side with a hopeful outlook for 2012.
So I resorted to what the world resorts to: Google.
Looking back, 3 months on, Google-ing was not the best idea I've ever had. My tears would not stop.
Pulling myself together, I got ready for my cousin's wedding and as you can imagine, neither myself nor Matt (hubby) were in the mood for a wedding. But we managed the day and infact, had a lovely day with family and friends.
On October 17th I made a call to the local EPU (early pregnancy unit) and they booked me in for a scan on the 21st - during this time I continued to bleed, it gradually became heavier and my hopes diminished.
I had an ultrasound and a transvaginal scan which confirmed an ectopic pregnancy. Because it had been caught early, and my beta hcg levels were relatively low, I was booked in for a dose of methotrexate - a chemotherapy drug which induces misscarriage. I really struggled with the fact that the miscarriage was induced through choice - I know that the pregnancy was not viable (it was in my left fallopian tube) yet I can't seem to shift the guilt of officially ending the little life inside of me.
For those of you going through a similar situation, perhaps waiting for your shot of methotrexate, I thought I'd quickly go through what that was like as I know I got myself into a MASSIVE panic and didn't really have alot of information on what to expect. So, unfortunately, I had to go to the cancer ward of my local hospital to have the injections - I don't know if this is the same everywhere but where I am, it had to be given by a nurse specifically trained in chemo-drugs. Now, with a phobia of needles, I was terrified at what was coming - 2 injections, one in each side of my lower back/upper buttock. But let me reassure you - it was not bad at all, in fact, my first words after the first injection were, 'was that it?!'. There is a slight burning/stinging sensation about 10 seconds after the injection but that is all - and even that was nothing to be scared by.
My hcg levels went back down to <5 in 13 days and I was then officially no longer pregnant.
I was then told not to ttc for atleast 3 months - reason being that methotrexate strips your body of vitamins including folic acid - reduced levels of these can cause birth defects.
So that was my ectopic pregnancy - I've left out ALOT of details. Infact I would just like to add that I went through every emotion under the sun during October/November - anger was probably the one that stands out to me the most.
I'm writing this blog 3 months after my ordeal - if I had written it during the actual time, believe me, it would have been alot different - but I've come out the other side with a hopeful outlook for 2012.
Behind the Scenes
OK, a more detailed insight into my TTC/Pregnancy journey thus far...
I'm 22 and have now been married for just over 2 1/2 years - 13 months ago, Hubby (Matt) and I decided that it felt right to begin trying for a family. And so our journey began.
Our 6th cycle of TTC came around SO fast and it was around this point that my impatient disposition really kicked in and the question 'When will it happen?' was always at the front of my mind.
Cycle 7, 8 and 9 came and passed. Alot of false hopes came and passed also.
Cycle 10 came, and my period was late - again I allowed for that hope to creep in and went out to buy yet another test. This one, unike the others, finally gave me the result I had been praying for: PREGNANT. In fact, here's exactly what I wrote on the morning of getting my BFP (big fat positive):
I'm 22 and have now been married for just over 2 1/2 years - 13 months ago, Hubby (Matt) and I decided that it felt right to begin trying for a family. And so our journey began.
Our 6th cycle of TTC came around SO fast and it was around this point that my impatient disposition really kicked in and the question 'When will it happen?' was always at the front of my mind.
Cycle 7, 8 and 9 came and passed. Alot of false hopes came and passed also.
Cycle 10 came, and my period was late - again I allowed for that hope to creep in and went out to buy yet another test. This one, unike the others, finally gave me the result I had been praying for: PREGNANT. In fact, here's exactly what I wrote on the morning of getting my BFP (big fat positive):
06-Oct-2011: I can't put into words how overwhelmed, emotional, excited and over the moon I feel - I've been waiting for this day for what seems like forever.
Being a mum and having a family is the one thing in life I have always known I've wanted. I've never known what career to follow, what course to take etc but having a family, it's my dream. And today, I finally feel like my dream is coming true.
Yesterday I took what felt like my millionth pregnancy test - I used to only buy the digital ones but this got too expensive, so yesterday's was a cheap-y ASDA one. After 5 minutes the FAINTEST of lines appeared and my heart skipped a beat. I was straight on to google - eager to hear if anyone else had ever 'had a pale line'...quite a few have it seems! There were a whole range of reasons why a pale line might appear but the most common answer? Your pregnant - a line is a line no matter how pale. But I couldn't let myself believe, scared of feeling the same disappointment I had felt month after month. So, I bought a second test - this time clearblue - I wanted to be sure.
I took the test this momring and jumped into the shower - I couldn't just stand there, staring at the test. With shampoo in my hair - it flashed up...'Pregnant 1-2 weeks'. 
I jumped back out the shower, shampoo still in my hair and revealed the news to hubby - his face I will remember forever.
And so it begins!
Wow, it's really emotional to read that back because, unfortunately, the excitement was short lived: the pregnancy was ectopic.
I jumped back out the shower, shampoo still in my hair and revealed the news to hubby - his face I will remember forever.Wow, it's really emotional to read that back because, unfortunately, the excitement was short lived: the pregnancy was ectopic.
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